Where does your candidate stand on the issue of rap music?

I’m tired of all these hard-hitting blog interviews. It’s high time we stopped asking candidates about their opinions and ideas in favour of the goofy, the mundane, and the completely random.

So with that, I present to you my blog interview with the Hon. Stéphane Dion. Thanks to Young Liberals from all the camps for submitting such great questions.

DB: Hi Stéphane, I’m going to ask you some questions that Young Libs have always wanted to know, but have never had the chance to ask you. Answer as much or as little as you want.

SD: Okay

DB: What is your favourite food?

SD: Fresh trout that I have caught myself

DB: What is your favourite season of the year?

SD: Winter, because I like cross-country skiing.

DB: What is the last movie you watched?

SD: 8 Below.

DB: Do you have any guilty pleasures?

SD: Too many to consider

DB: Would you prefer to be really hot and step into a cold room, or really cold and step into a hot room?

SD: Be cold and go into a warm room because a warm room, especially if it’s a fire, is more natural. When it’s air conditioning it’s always a bit artificial.

DB: When you were 8 years old, what did you want to be when you grew up?

SD: I wanted to be a courier de bois. What is the translation for this? It’s someone who worked in the fur trade a long time ago…

DB: Uh… good question. I don’t know what it is in English either….

SD: Maybe there’s no translation. Just put courier de bois.

DB: Okay.

[Editor’s note: there isn’t in fact a good translation as “trapper” is a little big more vague, but feel free to check out wikipedia for a full and even possibly accurate description http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voyageurs.]

DB: I notice you have a lot of art in your house. Do you have any favourite artists or paintings.

SD: Well since I am colour blind it’s difficult to have a strong preference.

DB: Really, you’re colour-blind?

SD: Yes.

DB: Can I write that?

SD: Yes.

DB: Cool.

SD: And I would probably say Rembrandt, because it’s the daily life of people.

DB: Do you have a favourite type of music or favourite artist or favourite song?

SD: Yes. La Norma of Bellini

[Proceeds to spell it for me because I’m totally uncultured]

DB: What do you think of rap music?

SD: They speak too fast.

DB Even in French rap?

SD: Yes. It’s not a matter of language.

DB: Yeah, that’s fair. What is the most influential book you’ve ever read? Er, that’s kind of tough. What’s one of the most influential you’ve read?

SD: Democracy in America, from Toqueville.

DB: Have you ever failed a class?

SD: Yes

DB: Holy crap, really?

SD: I had difficulties adapting myself to Cegep.

[for those not familiar with Cegep, it’s pretty much like OAC or pre-college.]

DB: If you could have dinner with any 5 people, dead or alive, who would they be?

SD: This is a very tough one

[pauses for a second]

I would go with the 5 Jewish thinkers who gave strong contributions to humanity

Moses, who said that everything is law
Jesus, who said that everything is love
Marx, who said that everything is struggle
Freud, who said that everything is sex
And Einstein, who said, “you know, all this is very relative.”

DB: That’s awesome. Wow. Okay, how did you and your wife meet?

SD: At a party. Sorry to not be more original.

[Jeanne (his daughter) and I giggle a little bit]

DB: Okay, last question. If you win the leadership will it be the happiest moment of your political career?

[pauses for a long time]

SD: It’s very likely so.